CNN Gives Up, Wonders About Supernatural Conspiracy Theories for Flight 370 Disappearance

There’s only so much “breaking news.” After more than a week of wall-to-wall coverage on the missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, much of it baseless speculation from vaguely defined experts, CNN today resorted to the most baseless of speculation from a certifiable non-expert about what “supernatural” or conspiratorial explanations there could be for the disappearance.

“It’s where every conspiracy falls apart: How do you keep everyone quiet?” offered Brad Meltzer, an author of political thrillers and host of the History Channel’s Decoded. “I’m glad you brought that up,” said host Don Lemon, who proceeded to make things much stupider.

“Especially today, on a day when we deal with the supernatural, we go to church, the supernatural power of God. You deal with all of that,” said Lemon, making little to no sense. “People are saying to me, why aren’t you talking about the possibility — and I’m just putting it out there — that something odd happened to this plane, something beyond our understanding?” Just putting it out there!

Meltzer was more than game to offer nothing of substance. “We all kind of roll our eyes at conspiracy theories, but what conspiracy theories do is they ask the hardest, most outrageous questions sometimes,” he said. “But every once in a while, they’re right. And that’s what we have to remember here. I think why it’s captured our attention is because there’s no logical explanation right now.”

“You can say, oh, it crashed into the ocean, but where are the parts? Where are the pieces? Why did it keep going for seven hours? Why do you have a guy onboard who gives his watch and his ring to his wife and says keep this for my boys in case something happens to me?” he continued.

“Something smells wrong,” he concluded, having added negative knowledge. “It just smells terrible. How does a jet liner, with almost 200 people on it, disappear? [Ed. note: There were 239.] How are they just gone?”

“Absolutely, absolutely,” said Lemon. “Absolutely.”

You can get this kind of trenchant analysis 24 hours a day, if you hate yourself.

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