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Metaphysics & Psychology

This Mom Explains Why She Does Not Teach Her Kids To Share

This Mom Explains Why She Does Not Teach Her Kids To Share 86

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Being a parent can be a tough job. Trying to raise and nurture a child while managing everything else that goes on in life is hard enough as it is, and that is without even considering the many moral dilemmas that can present themselves in situations like this article will draw upon.

What is right? What is wrong? Sure, there are certain things we all know are to be done or not to be done, but what about those vast grey areas, in which new new philosophies and ideas are born, that throw us into a journey of self discovery as a parent that we may not have considered beforehand? How about when we have to mix our beliefs about parenthood with other families who may take a different approach?

I came across a story about sharing written by a mother named Beth who had an interesting perspective. One line that stuck out to me in Beth’s story about why she doesn’t teach her kids to share was “I think it does a child a great disservice to teach him that he can have something that someone else has, simply because he wants it.” I think she’s right. Teaching anyone that they should be able to have what someone else has simply because they want it isn’t a mentality I think should be spread around. But it begs the question: how then do we define what is truly sharing?

What Does It Mean To Share?

I talk all the time about the importance of sharing on this planet. Sharing space, resources, time, love, land, and so on. But if we were to remove the idea that someone should have it simply because they want it, what would that look like? Would we then create a world where no one would share anything because we’d always be thinking about whether or not they want it for the wrong reasons?

I think, as with many things, it comes down to each individual having an understanding within themselves about how to live harmoniously with one another. Understanding how to simply have or use goods, resources, etc. based on what we truly wish to experience or need in that moment, vs. needing to have things for the sake of having them, because we think it will fulfill us or, like in the case of many children, because someone else has it. In that sense I believe the place Beth is coming from when raising her child could make a lot of sense.

Here is Beth’s perspective on sharing so you can understand more about what I mean. Tell us what you think below!

There is a sharing policy at my son’s preschool. It’s a parent-run co-op, so we have to have policies like this so that we will all handle situations relatively the same way. The policy is that a child can keep a toy as long as they want to. If another child wants the toy, they have to wait until the first child is done with it. We’ll even “save” toys for the child if they have to go to the bathroom, go to the snack table, etc. so that it won’t get taken before they’re done. This applies to anything in the yard or school that can be played with, including swings and monkey bars.

At first, it didn’t really occur to me to wonder why this was the policy. I just went with it, because that’s the rule, and it didn’t seem like a big deal to me. The kids all know the rule, so outside of maybe their first two weeks at the school, they don’t throw a giant fit when you tell them, “You can have it when Sally Jo is done.” But lately I’ve been noticing a totally different attitude toward sharing in other places we go, and I’m starting to really know exactly why this is the school’s policy.

Two Questionable Sharing Practices

Here are a couple of examples of questionable sharing practices that I’ve seen recently. The first comes from a good friend of mine. (And I hope she doesn’t mind that I use her story as an example). She and her almost-2-year-old were at the park one day. He had brought a small car from home to play with. Another child, a little bit older, wanted to play with the car and was demanding that my friend’s son give him the car. A typical toddler scuffle ensued, and the other mother told her son, “I guess his mom didn’t teach him how to share.” Never mind the fact that the car belongs to him and that when someone asks you to share, “No” is a perfectly legitimate response.

My second story happened one morning at the local rec center. Friday mornings they fill the gym with tons of Little Tykes climbing structures and those plastic cars they can drive around, tricycles, big balls, even a bouncy castle. Basically a toddler’s dream play room. There’s this one red car in particular my son really likes playing with, and the last time we went, he drove it around the entire hour and a half we were there.

While most of the moms with smaller kids will shadow their kids as they play, my son is old enough now that I can sit on the sidelines and watch. From there I watched a mom whose son wanted to drive the car approach my son repeatedly, saying, “OK, now it’s time for you to give him a turn!” Of course he ignored her, and eventually she gave up. There were a million other little cars for her son to drive, including one that was almost identical. Or maybe I would have stepped in at some point.

Real-World Lessons

I don’t agree with the approach of the mothers in either of these situations. I think it does a child a great disservice to teach him that he can have something that someone else has, simply because he wants it. And I can understand the desire to give your children everything they want; we all have it. But it’s a good lesson for you both to learn that this isn’t always possible, and you shouldn’t step all over other people to get these things.

Furthermore, this is not how things work in the real world. In your child’s adult life, he’s going to think he’s owed everything he sees. This is already happening in the next generation. I read a fascinating article about how today’s teens and 20-somethings are expecting raises and promotions at their jobs for reasons like, “I show up every day.”

If you doubt my reasoning, think about your own day-to-day adult life. You wouldn’t cut in front of someone in the grocery checkout line just because you didn’t feel like waiting. And most grown adults wouldn’t take something from someone, like a phone or a pair of sunglasses, just because they wanted to use it. (Well, maybe some of you would. In which case, this post may not be for you.)

It’s hard, as with so many things about parenthood, but let’s teach our kids how to cope with disappointment, because it happens. And we won’t always be there to fix it for them. Let’s teach them how they can get things they want through diligence, patience, and hard work.

How do you feel about the concept of sharing where young children are concerned? I know you likely don’t have a “policy,” as I sure didn’t before the preschool told me they had one. Now I notice a variety of different takes on the subject from the parents I see around. Makes me wonder if we need to be talking about this issue a little bit more.

Beth wrote this story was originally for PopSugar.com. She is a wife and mother of two who blogs about parenthood, green living, urban life and food. Check out her website and on Facebook!

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Metaphysics & Psychology

The Ganzfeld Effect: How To Experience Strong Hallucinations Without Drugs

The Ganzfeld Effect: How To Experience Strong Hallucinations Without Drugs 91
An experiment investigating the ganzfeld effect / Life

Sometimes hallucinations can appear in a healthy person, if he is in a homogeneous auditory and visual environment. For example, the researchers of the Arctic, who for a long time have to look at the endless expanses of ice, or the miners, after an accident, found themselves locked in a mine. 

This phenomenon is called the “ganzfeld effect”, it is the German “full field”. Some people deliberately evoke such visions in themselves. Is it dangerous for the psyche?

What is the Ganzfeld Effect?

About its existence, people knew the ganzfeld effect for a long time. Thus, the northern people who had to deal with such phenomena believed that these visions were sent to people by spirits. The followers of Pythagoras spent a lot of time in dark caves to gain wisdom by connecting with their subconscious.

When we are in a homogeneous, infinite space, where there is nothing to catch the eye, hallucinations may appear. The brain does not receive information, neither visual nor auditory. It cannot exist in reality, where there is no information, so it takes white noise as a basis and supplements it with some kind of visual picture.

The ganzfeld effect is not an aberration. It is based on the work of the brain, which needs to receive a flow of information from the senses. With the help of them, it recognizes models familiar to it, gives out ready-made templates. It does not need to be given any commands or instructions, the brain independently carries out this work. If there is not enough visual information, it complements the visual picture of sensations o its own accord, i.e. a person sees what is not really there.

This was confirmed experimentally in the 1930s by Wolfgang Metzger. His subjects, for a long time looking at a homogeneous field, began to see hallucinations. There are instructions by following which, you can evoke these visions in yourself.

To try this method for yourself, you need to find a clean ping-pong ball, cut it in half. It is advisable to turn on the red light in the room or turn off the lighting. To create “white noise”, you need to tune the radio so that only hiss is heard. You can lie down, fix the halves of the balloon in front of your eyes and wait. If you do not fall asleep, then hallucinations may appear after 10-30 minutes.

The Ganzfeld Effect: How To Experience Strong Hallucinations Without Drugs

Experts advise against doing this. Psychiatrists write that this procedure is stressful for the psyche. If a person has caused such visions in himself many times, he may develop neurotic states. But if you had to face this phenomenon, you should not worry about it, there should be no negative consequences for the psyche.

The ganzfeld effect and telepathy

It is believed that the ganzfeld effect is associated with clairvoyance. Due to the fact that auditory and visual analyzers are completely turned off, a person seems to fall out of objective reality and can plunge into a dialogue with the subconscious. It is this that creates different images in the head.

Many believed that in this way it was possible to establish contact with the universal information field and receive information from there. In the 1970s, experiments took place on the transmission of information telepathically.

One of the subjects sat in a room with dim red lighting, with halves of ping-pong balls in front of him, headphones with white noise in his ears. In another room, a second subject was sitting, trying to transmit a message using psychic abilities.

In 1983, 354 pairs of subjects took part in the experiment, 34% of the participants chose the right card from the proposed ones. In a similar 1985 study, that number rose to 37%. Given that the probability of random guessing is 25%, we can say that it was not possible to prove the presence of telepathic abilities at that time.

The Ganzfeld Effect: How To Experience Strong Hallucinations Without Drugs

The ganzfeld effect does exist, scientists have tried to study and explain it. Knowing about it, one can understand the origin of many legends and superstitions associated with caves, mines, etc. People really heard mysterious sounds and saw some figures, but all these images could be created by our brain, the work of which has not yet been fully studied.

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Metaphysics & Psychology

Research confirms that “near death experience” is not an illusion

Research confirms that "near death experience" is not an illusion 92

Dr. Alexander Batthyany, a professor of psychology at the University of Vienna, has studied thousands of cases of near-death experiences. Human thinking ability has nothing to do with the brain.

Near death experience case study

Dr. Batthyany and others collected thousands of complete cases describing near-death experiences , and recorded in detail the content of the near-death’s private prosecution and doctor’s consultation.

Doctors ask dozens of questions about what the patient sees (visual), what he hears (hearing), what he thinks (consciousness and thinking), life background (such as religious beliefs, life experience), etc., such as “Have this experience before Do you?”, “Do you see the light?”, “Who do you talk about your death experience?”, “Do you believe in your death experience?”, etc., to judge and evaluate the credibility of the patient’s narration of the near death experience Degree and the patient’s mental state after death (whether normal, etc.).

Dr. Batthyany said that the results of the study are reliable and fully confirm that the near-death experience is a real mental activity rather than an illusion. He also said that research methods have certain limitations, which will lead to underestimation of the proportion of near-death experiences.

Extremely credible near-death experiences

Dr. Batthyany explained that due to the limitations of the method, cases are likely to be missed, so the actual rate of near death experience should be higher.

Dr. Batthyany explained how he and his colleagues analyzed thousands of cases by compiling and integrating medical records into a resource library (such as the NDERF website), and then using search terms related to vision (vision) or cognition (such as “See” (saw) or “thought”> search for related medical records and score them according to visual or cognitive content, and then further narrow the scope of the study, such as selecting near-death experience cases with detailed medical records. This screening method based only on search terms is likely to miss cases where there is no such vocabulary in the expression.

Dr. Batthyany said that the near-death experience cases are highly credible. They considered that thousands of cases with near-death experiences are likely to have false reports, but in the process of sorting and analyzing, they noticed that only 1% of near-death cases were deleted due to validity.

Therefore, Dr. Batthyany believes that even if there are still false cases, the number is not enough to affect the overall conclusion.

Evidence of the phenomenon

In addition to these near-death experience studies, Dr. Batthyany also pointed out that the phenomenon of back light also shows that the phenomenon of thinking consciousness is extremely complex, even in the case of severe deterioration of brain function, there can be active thinking.

Dr. Batthyany studies the back-to-light phenomenon in patients with Alzheimer’s disease. Among patients with Alzheimer’s disease (ie, Alzheimer’s disease), some people have been completely incoherent for many years, but suddenly showed a marked improvement or normal thinking shortly before their death. This is what is commonly referred to as “return to light”.

According to the current neurological concept, as the brain function of Alzheimer’s patients gets worse and worse, their thinking performance should be that their memory and various thoughts and feelings are becoming more and more lost, and there is even no human thinking at all.

However, the actual situation is just the opposite. The whole state of mind of Alzheimer’s patients may suddenly become intact like a spark burst.

“Psychological Vision” of the Blind

In fact, there is also a phenomenon of “mindsight” or “mind intuition” which also illustrates the independence of thinking. “Psychovision” refers to the sight of a blind person who reports during a near-death experience.

Kenneth Ring of the University of Connecticut found that among 21 blind cases who reported near-death experiences, 15 blind people described seeing the scene and had vision.

Dr. Batthyany pointed out that some scientists believe that near-death experiences are hallucinations produced by human neurophysiological processes. However, “in this study, the results of near-death experience, rebirth, and psycho-visual phenomena suggest that patients experience near-death experiences when their condition deteriorates, die, or have no neurological activity, and it is common.”

Therefore, Dr. Batthyany concluded that even when the brain function changes or even the electrical activity of the brain stops (the EEG is flat), there is still a clear sense of self, complex visual images, and clear mental activities. And other thinking phenomena.

Even though back-lighting and psychological vision are very rare phenomena, the countless examples of near-death experiences are enough to illustrate the problem.

Dr. Batthyany wrote:

“Our research results show that the visual scene, mental state and self-awareness that people continue to appear in the near-death experience are a rule rather than an exception.”

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Metaphysics & Psychology

What people see after clinical death: Stories from survivors that they would rather forget

What people see after clinical death: Stories from survivors that they would rather forget 93

Humanity still does not know much about death. Of course, it’s easy to write it off as “nothingness,” but what if in reality everything is a little more complicated? In the selection below – ten creepy stories “from the other world” from people who survived clinical death.

Recently, the user Aidanmartin3 asked near-death survivors on Reddit to describe what it was like. The post quickly went viral, with hundreds of people sharing their stories in the comments.

I was about fifteen years old. Climbed onto the kitchen counter to grab something from the top cabinet, but slipped and fell headlong onto the marble floor. The next thing I remember is walking barefoot on water. Then I look to the right, I see a very bright light and a hand, as if calling me. I go to her and suddenly realize how peaceful and relaxed I am. Like the best deep sleep ever. Then I said to myself: “Dude, this is so cool, I would never wake up.” And then all of a sudden everything disappears, and I wake up because of my mother, who is crying over me.By that time, I was already numb, cold, pulseless and even managed to urinate in my pants. As an atheist who does not believe in all this, I often think about that case.

Cule4444

My father died for a short while and then said that at that time he was walking along a long corridor to the door. But when he was about to open it, his father felt himself being “sucked” into his own body

Whiskeynostalgic
What people see after clinical death: Stories from survivors that they would rather forget 94

GIF © Giphy

He died of an overdose for several minutes.In reality, there was nothing. It’s just darkness and an incomprehensible period of time. It was almost like waking up after hanging out all night and feeling like a horse kicked in the chest.

Th30xygen

It seemed to me that I was kind of floating in a long tunnel and I felt very tired. I remember how I fell asleep then and had a dream that I was in the kitchen of my childhood home, and dad was preparing breakfast. I heard turmoil and chaos at one end, and at the other, there was a warm light that seemed soothing. But then all of a sudden I ended up in the chaos of the emergency room.

Free_Hat_McCullough

The story of my ex-girlfriend’s mom. Her heart stopped for 28 minutes. The doctors had already told the family that she had left, and even brought in a priest to bless the room. But in the end she returned. She said that she recalls running around the field with a little girl, who, according to the woman, was her niece, in the dress in which she was buried.

CastingPouch
What people see after clinical death: Stories from survivors that they would rather forget 95

GIF © Giphy

I heard a loud, high-pitched noise telling me that I am still too young to die. Then he got even higher, and I saw a bright light and woke up. The ambulance driver was shining a flashlight in my eyes

Workerhard62

Anaphylactic reaction to the deadly sting of the Irukandji jellyfish. I saw this white glow and how I soared up, then my family and the doctors and nurses who were saving me. Came back and felt a lot of pain

Georgestarr

It felt as if my body was being filmed on a CCTV camera from a third person. Then the camera gradually moved away and rose. I became very cold and began to hear loud clanking sounds. Woke up in an ambulance to the sound of a gurney bouncing on a rough road. It was so surreal. Since then I have not been afraid of death, to be honest. It was almost six years ago, but I still think about that case several times a month.

Hemptations
What people see after clinical death: Stories from survivors that they would rather forget 96

GIF © Giphy

I was hit by a car. I could see everything, blood had not yet got into my eyes. I heard all the commotion. I felt myself being pushed in the back, and then doing artificial respiration … After that I felt only the first beats of the heart and how the blood flowed through my body. The pain began to build up with renewed vigor, and then everything went black

Outsider531

I was pronounced dead three times. But “after death” I have never seen anything. At least i don’t remember

Amihuman159

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