Connect with us

Metaphysics & Psychology

How to get a girl to like you: 15 no-nonsense tips

How to get a girl to like you: 15 no-nonsense tips 88

When it comes to attracting a girl you like, I’m sure you’ve heard enough advice like “be confident” or “wear cool clothes” for one lifetime.

But if you’re looking for some practical strategies that work, then you’ll love this post.

It’s an actionable 15 point cheat-sheet you can use to get any girl to like you.

Let’s go:

How to get a girl to like you: 15 tips for any man looking to attract the girl of their dreams

How to get a girl to like you: 15 no-nonsense tips 89

1) Look neat and clean

As much as you might not want to admit it, physical appearance is undoubtedly essential.

Now it’s certainly not the be all and end all of attracting a woman, but if you look good, it’s going to make it a whole lot easier.

According to Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D. in Psychology Today, grooming can make or break your attractiveness:

“Take some time to care for yourself. Shower, style your hair, and shave or trim where you need to. Be clean, neat, and smell good too. Grooming alone can make (or break) your attractiveness – and all it takes is a bit of time, effort, and a toothbrush!”

While you can’t change your genetics, you can make sure your well groomed and in shape.

This means wearing clothes that fit you properly, getting a haircut, shaving (or making your beard look clean), and showering.

Try to stay in shape too. Work out regularly by lifting weights, running and anything that works up a sweat.

You don’t have to look like the hulk, either. Most girls don’t like that anyway.

So try to get fit, not thick.

2) Let her talk

Rather than try to guess what’s going on with her, ask questions, and then listen. Really listen. Give her the space she needs to speak her truth and be interested in it.

You’ll get to know her better and as Stephen Covey says in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, you’ll give them “psychological air”.

“Empathic listening is so powerful because it gives you accurate data to work with. Instead of projecting your own autobiography and assuming thoughts, feelings, motives and interpretation, you’re dealing with the reality inside another person’s head and heart. You’re listening to understand. You’re focused on receiving the deep communication of another human soul.”

She’ll know you’re for real because she’ll feel supported and she’ll feel like you are listening.

If you are someone who listens to her, you’ll never have a problem getting her to love you.

Women want to be with men who get them and listen to them.

And you have to be able to talk to her for you to get to know her.

Remember:

You don’t have to try and pick her up right away. Getting a girl to like you can take time.

The bottom line is this:

If you try to become her friend, you’ll come across as less sleazy and more trustworthy.

Try highlighting your interests and hobbies and find something that you have in common. This is your gateway to rapport and building a friendship.

Girls don’t really fall for random strangers. It just doesn’t happen that often. This is why it’s much better to make an effort to be friends with them first.

3) No two women are the same

Stop believing everything you read about women in general and start paying attention to what makes her unique.

Generalizations, like many you read online these days, are dangerous ways to approach relationships and even people in general.

Because every single human on the planet is different – and in many cases, dramatically different – you can’t follow the advice that generalizes how to make people fall in love with you.

Instead, focus on her as her own person, and you’ll get much farther in a relationship than most people.

FBI behavior expert Robin Dreeke says that the number one strategy he keeps at the forefront of his mind when he talks to anyone is non-judgmental validation:

“Seek someone else’s thoughts and opinions without judging them. People do not want to be judged in any thought or opinion that they have or in any action that they take. It doesn’t mean you agree with someone. Validation is taking the time to understand what their needs, wants, dreams and aspirations are.”

4) Look beyond what you see

If you want to have any chance in hell in getting a woman to fall in love with you, you need to look beyond what you see on the surface and be willing to see things about her that maybe she doesn’t even see.

You aren’t looking for flaws to point out, but rather wonderful things about her personality and interests that she might be too busy to think about or give attention to.

According to Hara Estroff Marano in Psychology Today, learning how to give compliments are “not only a powerful social skill; it is one of the most fundamental.” She says “they must be genuine” and that the “more specific, the better”.

If you point out how wonderful these things are and how they are an important part of who she is, she’ll be hooked on your every word.

5) Make her laugh

Making a girl laugh is crucial if you want to attract them. There’s no getting around it.

Researchers at an American university discovered that when two strangers meet, the more times a man tries to be funny and a woman laughs, the more likely she is to be interested in dating.

This doesn’t just mean telling witty jokes and stories, it also means being fun.

Keep the vibe relaxed: If you’re too serious or intense, you’ll kill the vibe.

Try to be relaxed and non-judgmental. If you make her feel comfortable, she’ll more easily be able to laugh.

Prepare yourself to laugh as well. If you smile and loosen up, it will enhance the vibe and you’ll become more attractive yourself.

Also, try learning how to be self-deprecating. This is the ability to laugh at yourself.

Gently mock yourself will show your sense of humor and that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

For example, you could talk about your poor choice of clothes or your terrible drinking skill.

Whatever is, lighten the mood and have some fun.

We all love having fun. After the exchange is over, I’m sure she’ll miss you because the conversation was exactly what she needed in our all too serious world.

6) Flirt

Flirting is key to attracting a girl.

Because the factor of the matter is this:

If you only focus on becoming her friend, then you might get stuck in the friend zone. You need to remind her that you’re attractive yourself.

One easy way to flirt is to compliment them genuinely.

Don’t compliment them on something that’s everyone else notices. Focus on something you know they’ve put effort into, like their hair or their outfit.

The more unique and genuine your compliment is, the more they’ll notice.

Flirting can also be seen with body language as well. Make sure you smile and laugh. This is a great way to lift the sexual vibes.

Dr. Monica Moore, a psychologist at Webster University says smiling is among the best flirting tactics that signals interest.

Another part of flirting is holding eye contact.

A study published in the Journal of Reseach in Personality found that 2 minutes of direct eye contact resulted in increased feelings of attraction.

The longer the conversation goes, the more opportunity you’ll have to be playful. And a great way to show this person that you aren’t afraid to be playful is by teasing.

Studies have shown using humor in conversations makes a person appear as more likeable, and telling jokes can bring a sense of calm to the conversation during the flirting process.

Tease them about a silly joke, or about the drink they chose, or even about a story they just shared with you.

But remember:

There’s a very fine line between playful teasing and offensive teasing. When you don’t really know the person yet, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

7) Impress her

In order for her to like you, you’re going to have to impress her somehow.

However, don’t automatically think that this means money and nice material possessions. Some girls simply won’t be impressed by that. They’ll think your lame, superficial and boring.

So the best thing you can do here is just to be yourself. Focus on improving yourself, from your skills to your personality.

She could be impressed by your honesty, your authenticity, or the fact you’re well-spoken.

For long relationships, studies have found that women tend to prefer altruistic men who are kind and do good deeds.

Whatever it is, if you work on yourself and you’re happy with who you are, then it’s more likely she’ll be impressed with something about you.

8) Touch her…in a friendly way

You don’t have to be a sleaze about it, but if you can touch her in a friendly and comforting way, you’ll be far more likely to build rapport and attraction.

For example, you can offer a hand when she has to jump over a step, or you could give her a nice, warm hug when you meet her.

If she’s worried about something, you can put your hand lightly on her shoulder.

Keep the touching light and not too direct, and it’ll go a long way to building attraction and comfort.

One study suggests that “touch alone allows the emergence of somatovisceral resonance…which in turn is likely to form the prerequisites for emotional contagion and empathy.”

9) Agree to disagree

When you are courting your love interest, it’s best to not upset the status quo with topics that spark fury or debate.

When you first meet someone, you want to appear as trusting and compassionate as possible.

“The more agreeable someone is, the more likely they are to be trusting, helpful and compassionate,” LiveScience says, while “disagreeable people are cold and suspicious of others, and they’re less likely to cooperate.”

While it’s important that you are authentic and act like your true self, if your goal is to get her to fall in love with you, you want to appear as agreeable as possible to her.

That doesn’t mean you should let her walk all over you, but it does mean letting her have the odd (or majority) win in conversations where matters of the heart are concerned.

10) Give her space

Even though you are working hard to get her to fall in love with you, remember that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

If you want to find out how she feels about you, take some time apart and you’ll soon find out how she feels about you and your relationship.

If you are there all the time she can’t know what it’s like when you aren’t around.

Give her the chance to find out and then she’ll come around to the idea that she wants you around more often.

Be careful with playing too hard to get, though.

Research indicates that playing hard to get is a useful strategy…under the right conditions.

Put simply, it may work when your potential partner is already interested and already thinks you’re likable and “nice” but not yet passionate about you.

In this scenario, being a bit of a challenge can improve their perception of your value as a lover and motivated them to chase you.

After all, when someone is denied something they want, they tend to desire it more.

However, if your potential partner is not yet interested in you, playing hard to get can backfire.

11) Take your time

While you might be dying to be in a relationship and to have a woman fall in love with you, take your time to choose the right woman.

The right woman will love you for who you are and for what you stand for. She won’t worry about the flaws and the things you worry about.

If you are trying to get a woman to fall in love with you, look for someone who compliments you and adds to our life, instead of taking from it.

Women, like men, are all different and not every woman is going to be a suitable match for you, your life, your goals, and your dreams.

12) You’re worthy

Remember that you are worthy of being liked and loved, and while it’s not something you might say to yourself on a regular basis, it is true.

According to Cynthia Bowkley, empowerment coach, “most of us the frustration that accompanies dating stems from the negative beliefs we hold, such as, “I’ll never find a partner!”, “I’m destined to be alone’, or “There isn’t anyone in this world who will love me”.

“But these beliefs affect the way we feel about ourselves, the opportunities and possibilities we perceive that exist for us (or don’t), and even the way we show up physically when we’re out on dates!”

This is why confidence and the belief that you are worthy is important.

Before you let a girl know how you feel, remember that she’s also probably nervous about talking to someone she likes and cut yourself some slack.

Everyone feels less than worthy when their pride is on the line.

Take a deep breath and ask her out. Instead of wondering what’s the worst that could happen, be brave and be willing to find out. You’ll be glad you did.

(To learn how to build your self-esteem in the face of setbacks, check out my eBook on the art of resilience here)

13) You don’t “need” her to be happy

Guys often feel like they need to showboat or get a woman’s attention in order to be able to make a move, but if you act like you don’t need her, or even see her, you are more likely to get her attention.

Women like it when people pay attention to them and if she’s got you in her sight and you aren’t paying attention to her, she’s more likely to come over and talk to you.

Research published in the European Journal of Personality says that playing hard to get (acting confident, talking to others, withholding sex) “may reflect…greater perceived mate-value.”

“It implies quality”, says Gary Lewandowski, professor psychology. “If you’re able to be picky, that means you have some options, and if you have so many choices, you must be a viable partner.”

Are you the kind of guy that tends to fall into the “friend zone” a little too easily?

If you don’t have your own life, this could be a major culprit. After all, women are attracted to guys who have a sense of ambition and purpose.

And if you don’t have something going on in your life, you’re more likely to be needy.

Some girls like neediness – but they’re the type of girls who might be insecure, or enjoy trampling over a “nice guy”. These are definitely girls that you want to avoid for a variety of reasons.

So, make sure you have your own life – friendships, interests, hobbies, purpose, goals, passion.

Otherwise, you’ll be way too needy.

So, keep this in mind:

Your outlook on life should be that you don’t “need” a girl to make happy. You’re happy with your own life. And that’s much more attractive anyway.

14) Be patient

Sometimes, it takes more than one try to get a woman to like you and if you are patient, it might pay off big time.

Proximity and familiarity have a lot to do with the men women choose to hang around with and thus fall in love with.

The “mere-exposure effect” is a psychological phenomenon where we tend to develop a preference for things because we are familiar with.

This also presents itself in interpersonal attraction: the more often someone sees a person, the more pleasing and likable they find that person.

If you are there and she sees you on the regular, you’ll be more likely to be able to talk to her because she’ll feel familiar to you too.

15) Leave your expectations at home

One of the things that will kill a good buzz that you get going before talking to a woman is a giant list of expectations.

“Managing expectations in a new relationship is important because it relieves pressure on yourself and the person you’re dating, allowing opportunity to freely get to know someone and be in the present moment,” Dr. Danielle Forshee, doctor of psychology and licensed clinical social worker, told Bustle.

Don’t put too many expectations on yourself about how you should be or how you should act. Do the same for her: don’t apply too many expectations to your first few conversations because everyone is nervous and you’re just trying to get to the good stuff.

Expectations put a lot of pressure on things and make people feel strange so leave them at the door.

Source link

Comments

Metaphysics & Psychology

Psilocybin mushrooms sprout in the blood of an ‘experimental’ patient

Psilocybin mushrooms sprout in the blood of an 'experimental' patient 94
Image: Giphy.com

US doctors described the story of a man who tried to relieve depression with psilocybin mushrooms in an unconventional way. He injected an intravenous infusion of mushrooms, causing the mushrooms to continue to multiply in his blood and cause multiple organ failure. The case was reported in the Journal of the Academy of Consultation-Liaison Psychiatry.

Many drugs that people traditionally use as psychedelics are increasingly becoming the focus of medical attention. Some of them have already been repurposed and started clinical trials: for example, micro-doses of LSD have proven to be at least safe in the case of Alzheimer’s disease, and psilocybin has helped patients with  migraines and  depression. Often in such experiments we are talking about microdosing – that is, the mass of the substance is not enough for a psychoactive effect.

The story of an American who decided to experiment on his own was described by doctors led by Curtis McKnight of Creighton University School of Medicine. According to relatives, the 30-year-old American suffered from bipolar disorder, but shortly before the incident stopped taking his prescribed medications and suffered from alternating states of mania and depression.

When he stumbled upon research on the potential benefits of psychedelics, he boiled psilocybin mushrooms and injected the filtered solution into his vein. A few days after this experiment, relatives found him in a lethargic state with jaundice, diarrhea and bloody vomiting and took him to the hospital.

Doctors discovered the patient had a problem with multiple organs at once: acute renal failure, liver damage, tachycardia, and low blood saturation and ionic imbalance. He was prescribed droppers to normalize the composition of the blood, vasoconstrictors to raise blood pressure, antibiotics and antifungal drugs. Despite this, he developed septic shock and DIC (excessive blood clotting) and needed plasmapheresis. Only eight days later he was discharged from the intensive care unit, and at the time of publication of the article he had already been in the hospital for 22 days.

In the patient’s blood tests, in addition to the Brevibacillus bacteria , there were also Psilocybe cubensis fungi  – the same ones from which he injected himself intravenously. Apparently, due to insufficient filtration of the solution, the fungi entered the bloodstream and multiplied there, causing intoxication and multiple organ failure.

Psilocybin mushrooms sprout in the blood of an 'experimental' patient 95

The authors of the work note that this is not the first such case – at least in the 80s of the 20th century, doctors already described a patient with similar symptoms after an intravenous injection. Therefore, McKnight and coauthors warn their colleagues: since psychedelics are increasingly used as a medicine (at the end of 2020, they began to legalize it in the United States), it is important to remind patients of the inadmissibility of self-therapy. Intravenous administration can be dangerous – doctors still do not know if it has the same psychoactive effect as the classical methods of administration.

Continue Reading

Metaphysics & Psychology

A part of a person’s essence accompanies him throughout his life: this is confirmed by a brain scan

A part of a person's essence accompanies him throughout his life: this is confirmed by a brain scan 96
Photo: pixabay.com

A new method of scanning the human brain has produced amazing results. It turns out that in every person there is a certain part of his essence, which accompanies him all his life from the moment of birth to death.

Scientists believe that this is the core of a person’s self-awareness. It combines memories of the past with fleeting sensations of reality and provides a basis for anticipation of events in the future.

It turned out that a certain part of a person’s consciousness is consistent as they grow older and older.

For centuries, scientists and philosophers have been interested in the question: can this sense of “personal self” be stable throughout life? A new psychological study with the results of a brain scan made it possible to conclude that a certain part of a person’s consciousness really accompanies him throughout his life.

It is consistent as it gets older and older. Miguel Rubianes, a neuroscientist at the Complutense University of Madrid, says the aim of the study was to answer the question: Are we the same person throughout life? In combination with the results of other studies, scientists have concluded that there is a certain component that remains stable from birth to death.

The other part of consciousness remains susceptible to current changes. The scientists recognized independence as the basis of identity. And every time a person uses the word “I”, he means a thread that connects together all the events and experiences that have occurred in life.

Experience gained over the years changes a person, changes the components of his identity. Each case associated with personal experiences, a broken heart, a successful career step, expected or unexpected failure lead to the fact that a person compares himself to himself before and after these events. It is a neurological programming scheme that involves visual self-knowledge as an indicator of connection with your impressions of yourself.

This effect makes it possible to cope with memories and recognition of information when it is associated, for example, with one’s own photograph of an infant. Although this principle has a lot of evidence, scientists believe that the very mechanism of the brain involved in this remains a mystery.

This study was published in the journal Psychophysiology.

Continue Reading

Metaphysics & Psychology

Beauty and diversity of our world: 10 movies that will make time stop

Beauty and diversity of our world: 10 movies that will make time stop 97

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we sometimes do not notice how time flies past us, what miracles surround us. We do not have time to listen to the rustle of leaves in the wind and we miss those minutes when the crimson moon hangs at the very horizon.

Below are 10 films that reflect the beauty and diversity of our world. You watch such a movie and forget about everything.

Kytice

Beauty and diversity of our world: 10 movies that will make time stop

7 fairy tales-ballads based on Czech folklore are filmed colorfully and poetically. 

They endure a time when people were closer to nature, believed in miracles and the spirits of the forest, when the terrible and the beautiful were merged together.

Ashes and snow

Beauty and diversity of our world: 10 movies that will make time stop

Gregory Colbert’s documentary has no plot, but it attracts with its stunning, unrestrained beauty, reflecting the unity of man with nature.

The film was shot for 13 years in the most exotic corners of our planet: Burma, Ethiopia, India, Antarctica, Sri Lanka, Tonga islands and many other picturesque places.

The fountain

Beauty and diversity of our world: 10 movies that will make time stop

The main character Thomas tries to find a cure for his wife Isabelle. Every day she gets worse, and he cannot be near, because he puts experiments in the laboratory. In his soul, love, the desire to be with Isabelle and the desire to extend her life are fighting. 

Darren Aronofsky’s philosophical drama was filmed in vivid colors, despite the fact that the director did not use computer special effects.

Samsara

Beauty and diversity of our world: 10 movies that will make time stop

This is a beautiful one and a half hour trip to the most amazing places on the planet. 

Director Ron Fricke showed the inextricable connection of all people and events on earth, the cycle of death and birth, the versatility of our world, where beauty coexists with nondescriptness, and the end means the beginning.

The Bear

Beauty and diversity of our world: 10 movies that will make time stop

The story of a bear cub that lost its mother and nailed to a large wounded bear. Together they have to go through many trials, the worst of which is meeting the hunters. 

The wonderful plot of the film is combined with stunning music that helps you immerse yourself in the world of nature and feel it with your whole body.

Happy People: A Year in the Taiga

Beauty and diversity of our world: 10 movies that will make time stop

The harsh Siberian nature, untouched by man, the majestic Yenisei River and the small village of Bakhta with a simple way of life. 

People live and survive in these parts, rely only on themselves and also ask only themselves. Four seasons – four lifestyles for each of them.

August Rush

Beauty and diversity of our world: 10 movies that will make time stop

Young musician August Rush does not know his parents, but he really wants to find them and for some reason is sure that if he plays, they will hear and recognize him by his music. 

Mesmerizing music permeates the entire film and works wonders to dispel the evil spell of separation.

Baraka

Beauty and diversity of our world: 10 movies that will make time stop

A documentary masterpiece, a philosophical essay accompanied by superb cinematography and music, goes without words. The only and main actor here is life in all its diversity and unity. 

The gaze of a monkey sitting in a hot pond is equal to all the depths of cold space, and the dances of the aborigines are synchronized with the movements of the forest.

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring

Beauty and diversity of our world: 10 movies that will make time stop

This is a beautiful and unhurried philosophical parable about a wheel of time moving into infinity. Each time, with the beginning of a new cycle of rotation, life on earth is renewed, and everyone has the opportunity for a new rebirth. 

The film by Korean director Kim Ki-dook tells about two monks – a teacher and his student – and the obstacles that must be overcome on the way to finding harmony.

Chronos

Beauty and diversity of our world: 10 movies that will make time stop

The main characters of the documentary narration are cultural and historical monuments. 

They absorbed the life of the people who created them, and have remained for centuries as an imprint of bygone eras.

Continue Reading
Advertisement

DO NOT MISS

Trending