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Metaphysics & Psychology

Exophilia: Would you have sex with an alien?

Exophilia: Would you have sex with an alien? 1

Now that many of the people who didn’t believe in the existence of aliens are more open to that possibility, the website jezebel.com asked his readers what they thought of this. 

Would you have sex with an alien?

On May 26, the New York Times chronicled a series of reports filed by pilots who, while attending training on the east coast of the United States, between Virginia and Florida, saw what they describe as unexplained flying objects. According to the Times: “The objects had no visible engine or infrared exhaust, but could reach 30,000 feet and hypersonic speeds”.

No one is explicitly saying that these objects are spaceships; in fact, the list of experts cited in the article makes some suggestions for getting around the whole alien thing. But, as we are talking about a group particularly averse to aliens – the Times, the Department of Defense – we will see the subtext of the article, particularly the quote from a military intelligence officer who called the reports “an impressive series of incidents” as confirmation of the impending arrival of extraterrestrials. And we probably don’t have much time, since the incidents have been reported since 2014, so let’s ask the important questions. That is:

Would you have sex with an alien?

Like all life-altering events, we will not have much information until the invasion reaches us: it will be a game-time decision. As the sometimes clumsy and sometimes melted interior of a box of chocolates, it is impossible to say what the body shape of these extra visitors is. We may be talking about aliens of the smooth, scaly type; they may have big muscles like the predators in the alien movies, or be cute like a creature from the E.T. movie. Maybe we like soft skin like other extremely insecure candidates. Or, this may be a case of duck penis.

How decision time came, and the website Jezebel rated:

Julianne Escobedo Shepherd: I would f^ck any alien.

Jennifer Perry: Very dangerous. I like simple sex. With humans.

Lisa Fischer: I prefer to have sex with that alien than with Jeremy Renner.

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Kelly Faircloth: I probably wouldn’t do that, because it definitely sounds like you get an incredibly unrecoverable and intractable intergalactic STD.

Clover Hope: Unfortunately, I can’t generalize the aliens. They come in different varieties, which would affect my choice.

Anna Merlan: Wow, I wouldn’t. That’s how they implant things in you !!!

Libby Watson: I mean, he would have to woo me, but …

Barry Petchesky: I will say no. I feel that the taboo between species is very strong. I mean, there are some really cute animals out there and I wouldn’t have sex with any of them.

Dan McQuade: The only alien I know is ALF. So, no, I wouldn’t have sex with ALF.

Watson: Now Barry [que comentou acima] is making me look like a pervert by saying a strong yes.

Albert Burneko: If I were an attractive blue person, yes, I will make love to an alien, for sure.

Megan Reynolds: With that in mind, I might not?

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Always exaggerated, Reynolds followed up with clarifications through private messages:

If I had the option of having sex with an alien, I would have to think about a few things. Do aliens have genitals like humans? Are aliens capable of ejaculation or orgasm? If the answers to the first two questions are ‘yes’ and ‘ugh, yes’, then what will happen to me if an alien ejaculates in or around my human body?

Some have postulated that an alien / human hybrid will save the galaxy, but I am of the opinion that the son of my possible profane union with an alien would kill me. Of course, I would like to see the penis first, just to evaluate my options, but if I decide that he is good and worthy, I am sure he would die after ejaculation, but the baby inside me would eventually emerge nine months later; as soon as the child was removed from my womb, my body would be broken into a million pieces. A mother’s sacrifice.

With that said, I wouldn’t. But I would politely ask to see your penis.

Now that the invasion is practically upon us, it’s time to ask yourself: would you do it?

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